well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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