But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He did a backflip because drugs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize