just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
