He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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