I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
