I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well I just put wine in my tea
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
