# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
