did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
