Kiss
Puke
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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