News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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