covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
