check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize