honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
