Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
