yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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