Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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