Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
