In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
