so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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