What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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