just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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