I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
farters have to be the big spoon...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
