At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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