Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
50% drunk capacity currently
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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