he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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