You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
