Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize