I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
