ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought she had blonde hair

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, Gonorrhea actually

  Fav 6 924 1981

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dude. stop pregaming the food network.

  Fav 6 2532 900

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (571): View more from Virginia

  so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare

  Fav 21 4591 942

  share tweet
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  a queef is a wish your heart makes.

  Fav 20 1549 3471

  share tweet
  
• 

  These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

  Fav 6 2789 1101

  share tweet
  

• (949): View more from California

  Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.

  Fav 15 2383 1628

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (949): View more from California

  Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.

  Fav 6 2176 909

  share tweet
  

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?

  Fav 13 3658 1063

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.

  Fav 2 1715 1208

  share tweet
  
• 

  17 Guys Share When Their Parents Found Their Porn Stash

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (805): View more from California

  Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.

  Fav 8 2208 731

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.

  Fav 5 891 609

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (309): View more from Illinois

  Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.

  Fav 4 799 552

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.

  Fav 2 870 543

  share tweet
  

• (908): View more from New Jersey

  He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?

  Fav 3 402 757

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.

  Fav 0 472 351

  share tweet
  

Randomize