ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
someone owes me an orgasm
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!