You made me cry and you don't even care
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
