i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.