Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman

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  (440): I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman http://tfl.nu/jmt9
  Replies (6) Good night (2331) Bad night (1468)
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  (546): View more from

  Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.

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  (546): Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money. http://tfl.nu/o990
  Replies (65) Good night (3049) Bad night (876)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?

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  (956): If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you? http://tfl.nu/uuhm
  Replies (31) Good night (1633) Bad night (3708)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer

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  (703): Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer http://tfl.nu/3upq
  Replies (42) Good night (3754) Bad night (1094)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life

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  (862): i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life http://tfl.nu/57hm
  Replies (52) Good night (1144) Bad night (7118)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"

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  (315): I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy" http://tfl.nu/ekfn
  Replies (9) Good night (1531) Bad night (4025)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.

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  (603): well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access. http://tfl.nu/o23q
  Replies (26) Good night (4078) Bad night (1583)
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  (518): View more from New York

  and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis

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  (518): and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis http://tfl.nu/7q4s
  Replies (13) Good night (3648) Bad night (1249)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.

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  (605): and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg. http://tfl.nu/8u14
  Replies (10) Good night (4000) Bad night (1056)
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  (845): View more from New York

  No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back

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  (845): No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back http://tfl.nu/c7vm
  Replies (5) Good night (2245) Bad night (855)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.

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  (785): Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective. http://tfl.nu/28pg
  Replies (13) Good night (612) Bad night (855)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone

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  (917): She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone http://tfl.nu/cug7
  Replies (6) Good night (1221) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.

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  (307): he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with. http://tfl.nu/pnh0
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (519)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.

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  (404): Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack. http://tfl.nu/ljkk
  Replies (4) Good night (615) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.

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  (518): Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom. http://tfl.nu/16ki
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (706)

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