This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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