Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
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And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US