i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
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Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .