i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?