no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.