if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south