Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
