my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
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What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I will be naked everywhere
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
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He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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