think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
