Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
