This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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