The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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