I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
