I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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