Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
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She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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