I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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