Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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