he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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