Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
