i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
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We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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