so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You are the jesus of drinking
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize