come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize