Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
