Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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