i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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