youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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