Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
His nipple licking is glorious
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