I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
