Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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