Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
this is an emotional support booty call
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
