I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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