I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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