So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
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I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
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Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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