hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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